


I Hate Everything About You

by ForgottenLegacy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, Making Out, highschool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenLegacy/pseuds/ForgottenLegacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Humanstuck highschool AU*</p><p>While seventeen-year-old Karkat Vantas may not be the most popular guy at his high school, he does has a loyal group of friends, a voice louder than Eridan’s crying, and a mouth full of colorful language. He’s also smart enough to avoid high school hottie Dave Strider, who has a higher ego than Kanye West and Paris Hilton combined. </p><p>But things aren’t so great for Karkat, with family problems at home, he’s desperate for some form of distraction. When he accidentally kisses Dave, he finds out he actually like it. Eager to numb the pain, Karkat lets Strider into his life with plans to use him.</p><p>Until everything goes wrong. Karkat discovers Dave is willing to listen to his problems and help him out. All of sudden Karkat realizes he’s falling in love with the guy he thought he hated more than anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Kody Keplinger's The Duff and by the song "I Hate U" by Simon Curtis. 
> 
> ( My apologies if I'm doing something wrong, I'm a bit new at this! )

‘This is getting fucking old,’ Karkat thought, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

Once again, seemingly all of Karkat’s friends were living in a romance novel while he stood at the door waiting to be taken home. Kanaya was gettin’ it on with Rose in the corner of the room, Aradia and Sollux were chatting at the edge on the dance floor, and Eridan was getting a cup of punch for Feferi. And if he squinted through the flashing neon lights, Karkat was positive he could see scumbag Strider flirting with Jade.

It happened every time Karkat let his friends drag him to Strider’s parties. His friends flirted, danced, and hooked up until he demanded to be taken home. The only real reason the male went was to make sure his friends didn’t get into any trouble. Occasionally some pervert would try and take them home and he intervened before anything bad happened. 

In the meantime, Karkat stood at the door, watching all the partygoers from a distance. His eyes moved from the teenagers and instead he trained his gaze on the furniture around him. He shook his head, spotting what appeared to be a hot tub in the back. It was a pretty known fact that the Striders’ were rich, one reason why Dave’s parties were so huge. Some part of Karkat was jealous, since he lived in a tiny apartment that sported a grand total of three rooms. ‘Nobody should have a house this big,’ he thought, crossing his arms. While he would admit it was nice, he hated the place more than anything. 

Karkat sighed as his friend Gamzee stumbled up to him. Gamzee used to be his best friend, although old conflicts had came between their friendship. While everything was worked out now, their relationship wasn’t the same as it had been in previous years. 

“Hey, Karkat,” Gamzee spoke, stretching each word out. Karkat could tell his friend was high out of his mind, probably on more than one kind of drug. ‘And of course it’ll be my job to get him home safe,’ he thought, scowling. “You wanna try smokin’ something? You’ll be less angry,” Gamzee asked, his eyelids half-closed.

Karkat shook his head. “No. I most certainly do not want any of your fucking disgusting drugs,” he replied, his scowl deepening. “Okay,” Gamzee replied. “I just thought you might wanna try it. You’re lookin’ kind of lonely all by yourself over here.”  


“I want to fucking go home,” Karkat shot back. “But we can’t do that until one of our non-high, non-drunk friends is willing to drive us home.”

“Chill bro. Have some fun. I don’t know why you wanna leave so badly.”

“What’s the fun in immersing yourself in sweaty bodies and alcohol? Because I totally want to come to a party and dance with strangers to the same heavy techno rap music week after week. So much fun! Hey, maybe I’ll hook up with a skimpy, oversexed, blonde whore! Maybe we’ll discuss politics and economics while we bump’n grind!” 

Gamzee took a step back, tilting his head at Karkat’s outburst. “Yo brother, you need to relax. Come get me when we need to leave,” he said calmly. Within seconds the male disappeared into the crowd of dancing teenagers.

Karkat sighed, running a hand through his black hair. He glanced to a clock on the wall, muttering a few choice words under his breath. According to the clock, it wasn’t even nine yet. Karkat wouldn’t ask to leave until eleven, any earlier and his friends would be pissed. He could feel a migraine coming on from the music, and prayed one of his friends would want to leave soon. ‘God dammit, I am never coming to-’ a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey, bro.” 

Karkat spun around, glaring at whoever had come to try and talk to him. It didn’t sound like one of his friends. This happened occasionally. Sometimes a half-naked girl would saunter over and attempt to flirt with him, other times he’d be offered a beer. Surprisingly, though, the stranger didn’t smell like cheap perfume or alcohol. He smelled faintly of cologne, and Karkat’s blood turned cold when he realized who it belonged to.

Dave. Fucking. Strider.

“What do you want, asswagon?” Karkat snarled.

“You sure are friendly,” Dave commented sarcastically. “Actually, I saw you over here alone and was wondering how I could make the party more fun for you. I mean, it is my job as the host,” Dave said, giving Karkat a crooked smile. 

“No thanks, fuckstain. I’m fine by myself,” the black-haired boy snapped. Karkat glowered, hoping the blond would get the hint and leave. Dave just shrugged in response. 

“Come on,” the teenager insisted, “I can get you a drink or something. Or I could introduce you to some of friends,” Dave suggested.

“Leave me alone, shitrod,” Karkat hissed. “You can go the fuck ahead and try your act on somebody else with an IQ of 0, because I’m not interested.”

“Act?” Dave questioned, cocking an eyebrow. “This isn’t an act.”

“Of course it is, dunderfuck. Why would you talk to me otherwise?”

“Because I genuinely want to get to know you?”

Karkat laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, right. Like I said, go try and hit on someone else. I’m not interested.”

“Hit on? Do you think I’m flirting?” Dave asked, chuckling. 

“Why wouldn’t I? You fuck anything that moves,” Karkat scoffed. 

Dave frowned, training his eyes to the ground. “I’m sorry that I come off as that type of person,” he said quietly, scratching his neck. “But I swear-”

Karkat cut him off. “- Can’t you take a fucking hint? Go away, shitfan.” Dave turned away, his face falling. “Sorry to bother you bro. See you around, I guess.” 

Karkat let out a sigh of relief as he watched the obnoxious shade-wearing boy slip into the mass of people. “No way am I staying here any longer,” the male mumbled angrily. Out of all his friends, only Kanaya, Eridan, and Gamzee knew how to drive. There was no way he was letting Gam drive him home though, since he was high on who knew what. Karkat groaned, beginning to fight his way towards Kanaya. 

After pushing his way through dancing bodies, Karkat finally stood over Kanaya. His friend was bent over Rose Lalonde, her girlfriend. Karkat watched in disgust as the two engaged in a sloppy makeout session. “Kanaya!” Karkat yelled against the music, “I wanna go home now!” He was ignored.

Karkat jabbed his friend in the back. “Kanaya Maryam, stop making out for one fucking second!” He shouted. Finally his friend sat up, gasping for air. She shot him an irritated look while Rose glared daggers at him. “Would you please let me enjoy myself, Karkat?” Kanaya asked, annoyance slipping into her voice. 

“Please, Kanaya? I want to leave now,” Karkat pleaded. His friend sighed. “Fine, Karkat. But I’m letting you know that I am extremely displeased with you,” Kanaya said, standing up. She turned to Rose. “I’m sorry, dear. I’ll be back after I drive him home.” Rose nodded in response, murmuring something back to Kanaya. Karkat watched Kanaya begin to blush as she grabbed her keys. “Let’s go, Karkat.”

…

Within seconds Karkat sat in Kanaya’s passenger seat as she drove him home. After a few minutes of silence, the girl finally spoke up. “So, is there something particular that made you rush out so early this time? Perhaps the quote and quote ‘horseshitting groincatch music’? Or maybe there were too many people. Because Karkat Vantas simply cannot handle being around that many teenagers,” Kanaya spoke, a streak of sarcasm audible in her voice. “I really do not understand why you cannot have fun at parties we bring you to. It’s simply ridiculous.”

Karkat looked at his friend. “Well, I did have a choice encounter with doucheprince Mr. Fuckass Strider,” he said, crossing his arms.  


“That isn’t something to get worked up about. I mean, he is quite attractive. If I didn’t swing the other way I might go after him,” Kanaya replied, fixing her messy dark brown hair as they stopped at a red light. 

“That douche is nowhere near attractive,” Karkat lied, picking at his nail. If he was being honest, Dave Strider was kind of hot. ‘If he was put on mute and had his prideful smirked wiped off his face, maybe then he’d be tolerable,’ Karkat thought. ‘Otherwise he’s a real piece of dickshit.’

“Mhmhm. Sure,” Kanaya responded, shaking her head in disbelief. “Why do you get so angry about Mr. Strider, anyways?” The brunette asked, driving the car forward as the light turned green. 

“He’s a prideful, egotistical, narcissistic, douchebag shitcrisp,” Karkat snapped.

“He really is not,” Kanaya said, pulling onto Karkat’s street.

The male sighed. “Okay, whatever. I’m not arguing with you. Anyways, anything I need to know before I leave? Who’s going home with who? You have to make sure our friends don’t leave with perverts or something.”

“Well,” Kanaya said, tilting her head. “I did see Sollux and Eridan getting pretty close to each other. I heard a rumor that Eridan was going to try and ask out Sollux if things with Feferi didn’t work. Also, I am pretty sure Vriska was hitting on Jade.”

Karkat rubbed his temples. “Oh my fucking God, we don’t need more people hooking up. Okay, just make sure Jade doesn’t go home with Vriska. I don’t like her.”

Kanaya nodded. “I’ll try and get all of our friends home safe,” she said, pulling into an apartment driveway. “Good night, Karkat.”

“Thanks for driving me home, Kanaya. Don’t get too frisky with Rose,” Karkat muttered, unbuckling himself and jumping out of the car. 

Kanaya laughed. “I’ll try.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be too long for one chapter whoops.

Nothing was more peaceful to Karkat than the quiet bliss of a Sunday morning. It meant his cousin, who acted as a legal guardian, wasn’t home. The silence brought a sense of calmness to the boy, a state of serenity. At the moment, Karkat had the whole apartment to himself.

The boy rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn. He stumbled out of the bedroom he and his cousin shared and made his way to the kitchen. Karkat was beginning to grab the milk for his cereal when his eyes noticed a letter sitting on the counter. “Not another one,” the teenager mumbled under his breath.

Every couple weeks or so the Vantas household would get a letter from Karkat’s birth mom. Except his mom was currently in prison, and had been for a few years. She would write letters begging for bail money, for a way to get her out sooner. Karkat knew his cousin, Kankri, wanted to get her out more than anything. Most days Kankri would be working overtime to try and gather enough money to bail her out. 

Karkat was opposed to the idea, however. He didn’t care where his mom stayed, almost preferring for her to stay in jail. So, for the most part, he let Kankri deal with her. “Not my problem,” he muttered, pouring milk into his bowl of cereal. He’d let his cousin read the letter when he got home from work. For now, Karkat would enjoy his breakfast and re-watch the movies While You Were Sleeping and Pretty Women. 

The rest of Karkat’s Sunday was wonderful- an enjoyable, silent, undisturbed euphoria. The teenager spent his day watching his favorite romcoms, finishing a report that was due, and occasionally texting his friends. In comparison to Saturday, a day full of socializing and partying, Sunday was heaven. 

But Monday sucked.

Of course all Mondays sucked in Karkat’s eyes, but that day was especially terrible. It started when Kanaya slumped into her seat in History class with a tear-stained face and smeared mascara. Karkat turned around in his chair, eyeing his friend with a combination of suspicion and concern. “What? Did something bad happen or did you and Rose finally break up?” Karkat asked, a streak of sarcasm audible in his voice. 

Kanaya shook her head, sniffling. “No, no. I am still in a perfectly stable relationship with Rose. It is just that I cannot go to Homecoming!” she hiccupped, a wave of fresh tears falling onto her cheeks. “My mother will not let me attend!”

Karkat let out an annoyed sigh, mentally face-palming at his friend’s reason for being so upset. “That’s it?” The male asked in disbelief. “You’re all worked up about not going to some shitting fucktard dance thing?” 

“Yes, Karkat, I am. This dance was very important to me. I was going to go wi-” Kanaya was cut off by another round of tears. After a moment she regained her voice. “- I was going to go with Rose. I was going to make both of our dresses. We had everything planned out and I am extremely upset about the matter,” Kanaya finished.

“Fine, fine,” Karkat said, rolling his eyes. “Why can’t you go?” 

“I’m grounded. My mother heard that I was drinking at one of Strider’s party’s and she got incredibly angry. It’s not fair! I was really looking forward to attending Homecoming with Rose, and, and now our plans are ruined!” Kanaya cried, burying her face into her hands. 

Karkat sighed again, a small scowl visible on his lips. “Alright, listen up. I’m sorry you can’t go, Kanaya. How about I set up something for you and Rose? It won’t be as good as Homecoming, but I can plan you guys a date or someshit.” 

Kanaya looked up, a smile lighting her face. “Oh, would you Karkat? That would be simply wonderful!” The girl wiped her eyes on the cuff of her sleeve. “And I am sure my parents would not mind. They do seem to favor you since you excel in school. They consider you a good influence on me.” Karkat shrugged in response. “Sure thing.” 

Kanaya laughed, her emerald eyes sparkling. Just then the teacher made his way to the front of the classroom, silencing the students as he began checking attendance. Once the Kanaya situation was behind Karkat, the rest of History class went by smoothly. Kanaya stopped crying and by the end of class was informing Jade of a new dress she was in the process of making. Karkat walked out of History class behind Kanaya and Jade, although he wasn’t really listening to their avid discussion on clothing. Instead, the male’s mind was focused on the fact that he had left his Math book in his locker and if he didn’t have it for his next class his teacher would be furious.

‘Maybe I can run and get it before the bell rings,’ Karkat thought suddenly. “Uh, bye guys. I’m gonna rush to my locker before math class,” Karkat said hurriedly before jogging in the opposite direction of his friends. ‘Pretentious fuming dunderfuck I have to get there on time or Mrs. Marcy will be pissed,’ Karkat thought, biting his lip. All of a sudden he felt a body collide into him.

“Fuck!” Karkat screeched, stumbling backwards. In the process, all of his papers and books slipped from his hands and crashed to the floor. He felt hands grab his shoulders and steady him before he could slip and fall into the tile. Karkat gulped, looking up at the person who caught him. Dave Strider.  
“You okay?” Dave asked, his voice low and full of concern. 

“Uh, um, yeah,” Karkat replied hastily, feeling his cheeks heat up. Strider was _way_ too close to him. Dave’s hands hadn’t moved from Karkat’s shoulders and only a few inches remained from their bodies. “Glad I caught you in time,” Dave said, looking down at the black-haired boy. Karkat had forgotten how tall Dave was compared to him. Most people on their own were taller than Karkat, but Dave seemed to tower over him. 

“Y-yeah,” Karkat stammered, his cheeks growing redder. The other male was too close for comfort. Karkat pulled away, breaking free of Dave’s grip.

“Are you blushing, dude?” Dave asked curiously, titling his head at Karkat. 

“You were in my personal space, fuckwad,” Karkat shot back, glaring daggers at the other male.

Before Dave could respond, Karkat knelt down and began swiftly picking up his scattered books and papers. Much to his displeasure, Dave joined him. ‘He’s probably trying to get people to think he’s a Good Samaritan or someshit,’ Karkat thought, annoyed. ‘Most likely hoping for some hot cheerleader to walk by and think he’s a gentleman by helping me. That pig.’ 

“Man, you have a way with words. You say some pretty creative insults,” Dave remarked, chuckling lightly. “Like ’fuckwad’. Where do you even come up with that?”

“Your face pretty much gives me all my inspiration,” Karkat snapped. 

“Wow, I’m touched that my face is what inspires your sensational comments. I’m honored, man,” Dave replied with a crooked smile. 

“Whatever, fuckstench. Just give me my papers.”

“Sure thing,” Dave said, handing the other boy the stack of papers he had collected from the ground. Karkat hastily grabbed the papers and added them to the pile of books and folders in his arms. “Thanks for nothing,” the black-haired boy mumbled angrily before storming off to math class. 

Mrs. Macy’s pre-calculus math class consisted of only fourteen students and twelve of them were already in the room when Karkat sprinted in. Mrs. Macy shot Karkat a dirty look through her square glasses, making sure he knew that the bell would be ringing any second. In her class, being late was considered a felony, while being _almost_ late was a misdemeanor. And to make matters worse, Karkat didn’t have his textbook.

The teenager took his usual seat at the back of the classroom, opening his science textbook in hopes that it would resemble his mathbook. Karkat prayed that the teacher wouldn’t call him out on it. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t cuss Mrs. Macy out in his current mood if she did. She didn’t, saving them both the drama. 

The last student entered the classroom just as the bell rang. “Sorry, Mrs. Macy. I was putting up signs for next week’s mock jury trial. Class hasn‘t began yet, has it?” 

Karkat’s heart skipped a beat at the voice. 

While Karkat emphasized the fact that he didn’t have a crush on anybody, only Kanaya and Jade knew the truth. There was maybe one person he had a slight crush on. 

Terezi Pyrope. They had been best friends since their Freshman year and Karkat had a myriad of great memories with her. They had almost dated their Sophomore year, but after Karkat sent mixed signals they ended up remaining just friends. He was fine with that, though. Until this year.

It wasn’t until recently that Dave Strider started befriending Terezi. Before Karkat knew it, Dave and Terezi were close friends. It was just another reason Karkat hated Strider more than anything. It seemed she was forgetting about him and spending all her time with Dave. 

“Fine,” Mrs. Macy muttered. “Just make sure to be on time tomorrow, Ms. Pyrope.” 

“Of course!”

Terezi took her usual seat next to Karkat, dropping her bag on the ground at her feet. “Hey, Terezi,” Karkat greeted quietly as Mrs. Macy began writing on the chalkboard. “How was your weekend? Do anything exciting?”

The girl grinned, giving a short nod. “I did! I was at coolkid’s party Saturday night. Dave and I had some fun together,” Terezi said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 

Karkat felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He looked away, unable to make eye contact with his friend. ‘And to think I almost had a chance with her a couple years ago,’ Karkat thought bitterly. “Fun,” he mumbled back, giving a small sigh. 

It wasn’t even lunch yet and Karkat was sure that it was possibly the worst Monday of his life. Except even after everything that had happened that morning, things got worse.

That evening while Karkat was trying to watch the News on their small, scratchy television, the weatherman made an unexpected announcement. There was supposedly going to be some big snowstorm that would arrive in the morning. To Karkat’s surprise, school was cancelled before the storm even technically hit. Because there were no classes in the morning, Kanaya called insisting they go to a party that night. 

“Come on, Karkat. It’ll be _fun_.” Kanaya’s voice pleaded from the phone.

“Is it one of Strider’s parties?” Karkat asked suspiciously. 

“Actually, it is not. The party is at the Lalonde’s house. Roxy is the host. But I am fairly confident Dave will be the DJ.” Kanaya replied.

“I don’t know, Kanaya,” Karkat said. “What if the roads are bad?” While Karkat knew that in reality the snow storm hadn’t really come yet, he was looking for any excuse to not go. His day had been terrible enough on it’s own and he certainly did not feel like enduring another party. 

“Karkat, the storm is not supposed to hit until around three a.m. As long as we are home by then, we will be fine.” 

“I have a lot of homework,” Karkat lied.

“You have all of tomorrow to work on it. Why are you so opposed to hanging out with your friends?”

Karkat sighed. “Please, Kanaya? I really don’t feel like going to a horseshitting party tonight. I just don’t feel up to it. It’s been an insufferably shitty day.”

“Oh, Karkat. Did something happen? Do you wish to talk about it?”

Karkat sighed again. “It’s nothing important. I’m just not in the mood to go partying with you guys tonight.” 

For a few moments Kanaya was silent. Finally she spoke up, “Karkat, I hope you know you can tell me anything. You know you can talk to me if you need to. And I’m sure Jade and Sollux feel the same way. Don’t keep things bottled up, it’s not healthy.” 

Karkat laughed lightly. “I know, I know. Anyways, have fun tonight. Keep an eye on everybody.” 

“Of course, Karkat.” 

Karkat hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen, where Kankri was using the cordless homephone. Karkat could hear his cousin before he could see him. He was shouting into the receiver. Karkat hid behind the doorway, trying to listen and gain insight on what was happening.

“No, no, no, no! That is impossible! He was gone for seven years, he cannot do this now. I won’t allow it. Is he even safe to be around? I mean, Karkat is hard to take care of at times, but I don’t mind, really. I do not see how this can be legal.” 

Kankri paused, listening to the voice on the end of the phone. 

“I’m aware of that… But can he really just take Karkat? Surely the legal system does not work that way. I believe this is against the law and I simply will not tolerate it and-”

Karkat sighed, slipping into the bedroom where he couldn’t hear Kankri’s voice. He rubbed his temples. “What’s happening now?” Karkat whispered to himself. It sounded like Kankri was giving him up or something. Or maybe they couldn’t pay the rent? Whatever Kankri was on the phone about, it sounded important. The teenager gulped, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to think about whatever problem they were dealing with. He pulled out his phone, dialing Kanaya’s number. In two rings she answered.

“Hey, Kanaya. I changed my mind about that party.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Um, Karkat… I think you should stop drinking so much punch,” Jade said, her voice concerned. She grabbed the red plastic cup from Karkat’s hand and threw it away before he could refill it. “I know it’s not like alcoholic or anything, but you’ve just been sitting here drinking watery punch for the past half hour.”

Karkat sighed, rolling his eyes at his friend. “What do you want me to do, then? You know I can’t dance for shit.”

Jade laughed, adjusting the round glasses that rested on the bridge of her nose. “I know, I know. How about you go be social? Talk to your friends or meet new people!”

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“I don’t count, Mr.grumpypants.”

“Why can’t you count?”

“Because you talk to me everyday. Go make some new friends!”

“Whatever. I’m going to go use the bathroom,” Karkat mumbled, beginning to push his way through the mass of sweaty dancing bodies.

“Karkat! You better not be going to hide out in the bathroom! If you’re not back in a couple minutes I’m coming to get you,” Jade shouted over the music. Karkat ignored his friend and kept jostling his way through the crowd. He didn’t really know where he was going but didn’t care if he found a bathroom or not. He just needed somewhere quiet. 

After a few minutes of searching, Karkat discovered what appeared to be a spare bedroom upstairs. There the obnoxious music was only a muffled hum in the background. He closed the door, rubbing his temples. He had came to the party hoping it’d be enough to distract him from his problems. Unfortunately, no amount of heavy dubstep or rap music and strobe lights could make Karkat forget about everything that was on his mind. 

He sat down on the bed, hearing Kankri’s voice echo in his mind. “What was that phone call even about?” Karkat asked out-loud, running a hand through his messy black hair. “Why didn’t I just stay home with Kankri?” He spoke quietly. The male could only imagine his cousin sitting by himself at the kitchen table, facing his stress and anxiety alone.

But that’s how the Vantas’ handle stress.

Alone.

“Why couldn’t I of just asked Kankri what was going on? Why can’t we communicate with each other? Why can‘t I confront him about it?” Karkat whispered, his chin quivering.

Suddenly he heard the door creak open. The teenager looked up to see a certain blond-haired asshole standing at the doorway. 

“Go away,” Karkat snapped. 

“Sorry, man. Didn’t know you were in here,” Dave replied hastily. He turned to leave before glancing back at the other male. “Are you okay? You don’t seem as angry as usual.”

“Leave me alone, clusterfuck. I’m serious.” 

Dave frowned, walking over and sitting next to Karkat on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Go the fuck away, grubshit,” Karkat growled, twisting his hands in his lap. The anxiety- the worry, stress, uncertainly, it choked him. It needed to escape, to be released in some way. Karkat couldn’t wait until he was with Kanaya or Jade to vent. Karkat pulled at his hair in frustration. He needed to let everything out. 

The male didn’t want to cry. He wasn’t about to start sobbing in front of douche bag Strider nor was he willing to have some sappy emotional convo with him. Karkat knew he couldn’t punch someone, he’d just get in trouble. The only problem was that he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t let everything out soon. 

His mother was in prison.

His father was dead.

His cousin was facing legal difficulties. 

“There has to be something worrying you,” Dave muttered. “Are you okay, dude? You look like you might cry.” He put a hand on Karkat’s shoulder comfortingly.  


Suddenly, without any thought, Karkat kissed Dave. 

His lips were passionate with bottled emotion while Dave seemed rigid, his body frozen in surprise. An instant later the blond-haired boy returned the aggression, his lips moving fiercely against Karkat’s. Dave’s hands moved to the male’s sides, pulling him closer. Karkat clawed his hands into Dave’s hair, pulling it harder than necessary. 

Surprisingly, kissing worked better for Karkat than punching someone would of. Not only did it help him release the excruciating pressure, it provided the perfect distraction. While Karkat kissed Dave, all of his worries momentarily disappeared. He didn’t have to think about anything and was lost in the touch of the other boy. 

… Until a certain black-haired girl screwed everything up.

Without any warning, the door swung open. “Karkat Vantas,” a familiar voice yelled, “I told you not to go hiding-” Jade’s voice cut off abruptly as she noticed what was going on in front of her. Karkat immediately pulled away from Dave, untangling his hands from the other boy’s hair. Jade’s chin dropped and her eyes widened with surprise. “Don’t tell Kanaya!” Karkat said quickly, a hot blush spreading over his cheeks.

“What is going on here?” Jade asked, her voice bewildered.

“It’s not what it looks like, Jade, I swear-” Karkat began. 

“-Karkat, are you drunk? You hate Dave! Why were you guys making out?”

Karkat shook his head, looking down at his feet. “I’m obviously not drunk. You know I don’t like drinking.” 

Jade gave an exasperated sigh, throwing her hands in the air. “That doesn’t answer my question! You know what, I don’t care,” she replied, her voice cracking. Jade spun around, hurrying out of the room with tears streaming down her face.

“I’m pretty sure she had a crush on me,” Dave said, who had been silent the entire conversation. “That’s why she’s so upset.”

“Well, she wouldn’t have a crush on you if you didn’t lead her on with your fuckbagging flirting, douchesack!” Karkat spat, looking up to glare at the other boy.

Dave was silent for a moment. “Maybe.”

Karkat stood up, a scowl evident on his lips. “Never speak of this again, got it?” he hissed through clenched teeth. 

“Sure,” Dave said with a small shrug. “Am I allowed to ask why you kissed me, though?”

Karkat rushed out of the room before he could give the other boy an answer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, this chapter is a little shorter than usual. Sorry!

Kanaya’s couch was surprisingly comfortable for being so small. Karkat rolled around, nestling himself deeper into the pile of blankets. After accepting his friend’s invitation for a sleepover, the two had enjoyed a fun-filled night of watching movies and gossiping. Karkat had also talked to Kanaya about the situation with Kankri, although he had gotten most of the stress off his chest after kissing Strider. 

Which was the very thing that was preventing him from falling asleep.

Karkat turned onto his side, letting out a long sigh. He had tried counting sheep and relaxing his body. He even tried imagining having to listen to one of Kankri’s lectures. 

Still wide-awake. 

The memory replayed over and over in his mind, like an old-fashioned movie stuck on repeat. Karkat’s skin itched, like insects were crawling on the places where Dave had pulled him closer. The taste of the other boy lingered in Karkat’s mouth, a constant reminder to what he had done. But the worst part was that he knew it was his own fault, that he was the one to blame. He had kissed Strider, not the other way around. 

“Kanaya?” Karkat whispered into the dark. 

There was a quiet grumbling from the other side of the room. “Hmmm?”

“You’re awake, right?”

“Mhhm-hmm.”

“Okay, I kind of have to tell you something. It’s pretty fucking important, so you can’t tell anyone. Got it?” 

“Sure, Kar,” she mumbled. “What is it?”

“Well, I kissed someone tonight,” Karkat said quietly, scratching his neck.

“That’s great, Karkat. Now go to sleep.” 

Karkat bit his lip. “It was Dave… Dave Strider.”

Kanaya sat straight up and reached out her hand to turn the light on. “W-what?” She faltered, shaking her head in disbelief. “You have my full attention now,” Kanaya stated, turning to look at Karkat. “ _Do_ tell me what happened! If I remember correctly, you hate Mr. Strider.” 

Karkat sat up, crossing his arms. “I do hate that worthless piece of dickshit. And I will always hate him. It was just an unintelligent, immature, heedless moment of… stupidity.” He ran a hand through his black hair, his eyebrows knitting together. “I feel dirty.” 

Kanaya laughed, her eyes gleaming mischievously. “Dirty can be fun.”

“Kanaya.”

“Sorry, Kar. I simply do not grasp what the problem is,” the girl admitted. “Dave is hot, rich, and probably a sensational kisser. Is he?”  


“Kanaya, flying shit! Shut up!” Karkat shouted, glaring at his friend from across the room. “Look, I’m not proud of this. I was feeling shitty and he was there… it just kind of happened. What do I do, Kanaya?”

“Kiss him again?”

Karkat scowled, falling back onto his pillow. He rolled so he was facing away from his friend. “Forget it,” the male muttered. “I shouldn’t of told you at all.” 

“Oh Kar, don’t be like that,” Kanaya said. “I’m sorry, but I think you should look at the bright side for once in your life. You’re always so negative. What’s the problem if you date Dave? It’s not like it would kill you.”

“I am not dating that retarded douche bag,” Karkat hissed. “Dave Strider doesn’t date, he fucks. All I did was kiss him, which was a huge mistake.” 

Kanaya slumped back down, wrapping a blanket around herself. “I knew even you couldn’t resist his charm forever.” 

“Excuse you,” Karkat growled, “I am resisting just fucking fine. I find that lumpy dickprince repulsive. Tonight was just a lapse in judgment and it will never happen again.”

“Never say never, Kar.”

...

When Kanaya dropped Karkat home the next day, the male found his cousin sitting on the couch, browsing through the newspaper with a mug of coffee in his hand. Kankri looked up when he heard Karkat step into the room. “Hello, Karkat,” he said, placing his mug on the coffee table. “Did you have fun with your friends last night? I hope you weren’t getting into trouble. Some of your friends tend to concern me. But anyways, I hope you had an enjoyable evening overall.”

Karkat sighed, rolling his eyes. His cousin could never say anything less than three sentences, he always had to ramble on. “Yeah, yeah, Kankri. I had fun. How was work?” Karkat asked, plopping down on the couch. 

“Work today was particularly busy,” Kankri said, rubbing his temples. “And in no way was enjoyable. It was quite stressful, actually. Do you know how many people got laptops for Christmas? I’m going to tell you. It was a lot. And many of those laptops were faulty. Also, after that shift, I had a teaching job with defiant, triggering, insubordinate students.” 

Kankri worked at Best Buy but also had a side job as a cook and as a substitute teacher. “If I teach you anything in life, Karkat, let it be don’t buy cheap things. You’re just going to have to spend more money on repairs. You remember that,” Kankri continued. 

Karkat nodded. “Okay, thanks for the fucking wondrous advice,” Karkat said sarcastically. Suddenly he felt like an idiot, what had he been worrying about earlier? ‘Everything is fine,’ the male thought. Kankri wasn’t losing the apartment or something stupid like that. He had clearly gotten worked up over nothing. ‘Everything is going to be okay.’


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the wait! I'm attending an anime convention soon and there's so much to do and make asjdfjas so I haven't been able to write much. But here is the next chapter. (Sorry if I didn't reply to your comment on the last chapter! Thank you for all of them! Also, it's really funny watching you all freak out in the comments. Don't worry, shit's not going down...yet.)

When Karkat was five years-old, he had a traumatizing experience with a dog. It was show-and-tell at Kindergarten and a child had brought their German Shepherd in. While he was petting it, maybe a little too roughly, it growled and swung its head around to bite him. Before its fangs could touch Karkat, though, Jade screamed and used her tiny fingers to grab the animal’s collar to pull it away. Hearing the commotion, a parent had came and took the dog outside, away from other children.

The event was the very beginning to Karkat and Jade’s friendship. 

Jade balanced Karkat out. She helped him see life in a more optimistic-view and made sure he didn’t get too lonely. She also kept him in check, ensuring that he didn’t get in any fights. The girl was also extremely loyal, even keeping by his side during his romantic troubles his Sophomore year. Jade never let Karkat isolate himself or wallow in his own misery. Despite the fact that she had other friends, ones that didn’t need looking after, she stayed with Karkat.

So when Jade asked Karkat to talk after school Wednesday afternoon, of course he agreed. He assumed they would be discussing the kissing incident. Jade hadn’t spoken a word to him since that night and he was kind of beginning to miss her bubbly presence. 

Karkat waited in the cafeteria, spinning a pencil in his hands. He had his algebra textbook laid out in front of him but was too distracted to do any of the problems. Instead, he was more concerned on how Jade was going to confront him. ‘How am I going to explain that pretentious dumbshit situation? How am I going to clarify my scumbag actions?’ Karkat was in the middle of thinking when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The nerves on his neck stood up and he whirled around to face Dave Strider. 

Karkat jerked out from under Dave’s grip and gripped the pencil like a dart, aiming it at the other boy’s eye.

“Fascinating,” Dave commented, adjusting the aviators that rested on the bridge of his nose. “Is this how you greet all the boys you like?” 

“I _don’t_ like you, douchewaffle.”

“So you love me.”

Karkat gritted his teeth in anger, hating the proud, haughty way the other boy spoke. A lot of girls, like Kanaya and Jade, found it sexy. But in Karkat’s opinion Dave’s voice sounded stalker-ish and seemed to scream _date rape!_ in bold letters.

“No, douchecactus, it means that I fucking _hate_ you. You are an unattractive waste of space,” Karkat fumed, “And if you don’t get the fuck away from me I’ll report you for sexual harassment.”

“That might be a little hard,” Dave remarked, swiftly grabbing the pencil from Karkat’s hands. “Largely because you’re the one who stuck your tongue down my throat. If anything, I should be reporting _you_ for harassment.”

“Give me my pen-” Karkat began, but stopped suddenly. “You repugnant asswagon, there was no tongue!”

“Yeah, but you seemed like you wanted it to have tongue.”

A hot blush began to creep over Karkat’s cheeks as he glared daggers at the blond boy. The male scowled, promptly picking up his books and papers before stomping on Dave’s foot. Karkat was halfway to room 304, where Jade should have been finishing up, when the other teenager caught up with him.

“Oh come on, Kitkat. I was just joking around. Lighten up.”

“Well, I didn’t find your joke funny at all,” Karkat snapped.

“That’s strange, most people find my sense of humor endearing.”

“Those people must have the IQ of a five year-old.”

Dave laughed, shaking his head. “Hey, you never did tell me what was wrong the other night. Is everything okay?”

“None of your fucking business, scumbag.”

Dave raised his hands in defense. “Okay, okay. I get it. I was just wondering if you were okay.”

“Thanks for your concern, bitchfuck, but I’m perfectly fine,” Karkat growled. He spun around, sighing with relief as members of the robotics club hurried out of room 304. Karkat jogged up to Jade’s side, escaping the presence of Strider. “Hey, Jade,” Karkat greeted awkwardly.

Jade bit her lip, running a hand through her thick, black hair. She exhaled air through her nose, tightening her grip around her books. “Look, Karkat, I’m really sorry with how I reacted the other night. It was awfully immature and silly of me and I’m sorry.” 

Karkat blinked in surprise, walking beside the girl in the direction of her locker. “Wow, um, I accept your apology,” he replied, taken back by Jade’s words.

“I understand if you and Dave have a thing now,” she continued, “I didn’t really understand it at first or want to accept it. But you’re my friend, so it shouldn’t get in the way of our friendship,” Jade said, halting at her locker.

“Woah, hold up,” Karkat said quickly. “I don’t have a fucking “thing” with that buttfuck. Kissing him was just a mistake. I swear. He’s all yours.”

Jade titled her head, opening her locker and placing her books inside. “If that’s what you say, Karkat! It looks to me though, that you guys have a thing. Kanaya said so also.” 

“Well we fucking don’t!” Karkat said crossly. 

“Okay, okay. Anyways, after thinking about it, I think I have a crush on someone else.”

“Great. Strider doesn’t deserve to date someone like you. I’m glad you finally got over him.”

“I guess so?” Jade frowned, putting her notebook into her bag before closing her locker door. 

“So, who’s your new crush, then?” Karkat asked, trying to sound interested. 

“Okay, don’t tell anyone. I think I have a crush on Vriska, but I’m not sure yet,” Jade whispered, beginning to walk in the direction of the school doors.

Karkat looked at his friend with disbelieving eyes. “What?” He asked incredulously. “Vriska fucking Serket? Why her?”

“Shh, Karkat! You’re being really loud!” Jade said, her voice flustered.

“Why that nimfuck?”

“Hey! Don’t call her that! She’s actually really nice.”

“I don’t like her.”

“I get that, Karkat. But the least you could do is be supportive of my romantic choices.”

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry.” 

“Anyways, I’m thinking of asking her to go to Homecoming with me. Do you think that’s a good idea?” Jade asked, pausing at the water fountain to fill up her water bottle.

“I guess. Do want you want to do. I’m just letting you know blatantly that I don’t like the batshit Serket bitch.”

Jade sighed, rolling her eyes. “You’ve made that clear multiple times, Karkat. In any case, who are you bringing to the dance?”

“I’m not going.”

“Come on, Kar! It’ll be fun! You could go with Dave.”

Karkat crossed his arms. “Even if I did want to go, I already promised Kanaya I wouldn’t. Her parents aren’t letting her attend and I’m setting up a date for her and Rose instead.”

“What? Why didn’t you guys tell me?” Jade asked, stunned.

“Sorry, Jade. I didn’t really think about it.”

“Would you mind if I helped you out with the date for Rose and Kanaya? I don’t want to go to Homecoming if you guys aren’t. Wait- maybe we could have a double date thing!” Jade exclaimed, excitement audible in her voice.

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “You mean you and me on a date? With Rose and Kanaya?”

“No, silly! I’m going to find a surprise date for you.”

“-And me and this ‘surprise date’ are going on a double date with Rose and Kanaya?”

“Yes. I’ll ask Kanaya if that’s okay! It’ll be so much fun!”

Karkat paused before shooting Jade an annoyed look. “Fine. Just this once.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here's another chapter! I can't say it's very interesting, but at least it's something. Also, I just started school, so I'm not sure if that will effect how often I update. With that in mind, I pre-apologize if the next couple chapters take longer than usual.

_Bzzzzt_.

Karkat let out a sigh of annoyance, glancing down at his phone to read a text message from Jade. Friday, the day of the double date, had finally rolled around and Karkat was trying to look for a way to get out of it. 

‘hey, karkat!!! just reminding you that you need to be dressed and ready to go for the date by 7:00 pm sharp! kanaya will be picking you up and you guys will meet rose and your secret date at the restaurant :D arent you excited?!!??’ 

Karkat exhaled air from his nose, picking up his phone to text Jade back.

‘DO I REALLY HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS? OH GOD, WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS. AM I ALLOWED TO ASK WHO MY SECRET DATE IS? AND WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING DURING THIS? WATCHING US LIKE A GODDAMN STALKER ENJOYING A MODERN DAY TELEVISION SHOW?’

Karkat pressed ‘send’ to the text message and set his phone down on the bed. He absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair, wondering who his date was going to be. Jade probably wouldn’t tell him, but it was worth a shot asking. He knew it would most likely be one of the girl’s friends, she wouldn’t set him up with someone she barely knew. 

The male tried to run through a list of Jade’s friends. He was aware she hung out with Rose and Dave a lot… And John and Kanaya… and sometimes Tavros. ‘That doesn’t leave a lot of options,’ Karkat thought. ‘Rose and Kanaya are obviously out… Jade wouldn’t set me up with douchbag extraordinaire, would she? She knows how much I hate Strider. She wouldn’t. Maybe John? Tavros eve-’ Karkat’s vibrating phone interrupted his thoughts.

Another text from Jade. 

‘no, silly!! your date is a surprise, so you wont know until you actually see them! and to answer your other question, i wont watch you guys, thatd be weird. but i will be in the background orchestrating everything. making sure the date goes okay and stuff!!’ 

‘THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. OKAY THEN. I GUESS THAT KIND OF MAKES SENSE? ANWAYS, WHAT SHOULD I WEAR TO THIS SHITDICKING FUCKSTUPID FORMAL EVENT?’ Karkat texted back in response. Jade answered within a few seconds.

‘definitely a suit! and a vest and tie!! do you have those? dont worry too much on your appearance, im sure when kanaya picks you up shell make sure you look dashing and handsome :) now go get ready!’

Karkat rolled his eyes in irritation and sent Jade a message assuring her he’d be ready by the time Kanaya came to pick him up. ‘Now to find a suit…’ Karkat thought, biting his lip. ‘Do I even have a suit?’

The teenager walked over to the closet he and his cousin shared, a frown apparent on his lips. He rummaged through the clothing, trying to find something Jade defined as “formal”. After a few minutes of searching, Karkat pulled out a crumpled white formal shirt, a maroon vest, and a dark purple spotted tie. “Why do we even own these fucking hideous clothing pieces?” He wondered out loud, holding the clothing up to his chest. “I guess they’ll have to do…”

It didn’t take long for Karkat to dressed. He stood in front of the bathroom mirror, scrutinizing his reflection with a scowl. His black hair was messy and untamed with strands sticking out in numerous places- which was a normal occurrence for the male. The white button up shirt (which happened to sport a coffee stain on the left sleeve) was under the vest with the tie tied looped over his neck. Karkat was almost positive that he had put everything on wrong and the teenager had no idea how to fix it.

“How in the blistering fuck does one even put on a god damn tie anyways?” Karkat mumbled under his breath. “Now to wait for Kanay-” almost on cue the sound of the doorbell echoed through the apartment. “Coming!” Karkat shouted, hurrying to meet Kanaya. When he swung open the door his jaw dropped. 

Kanaya looked like a model right out of a _Vogue_ magazine. She was wearing a black mermaid-style dress that hugged her hips and flowed at the bottom. Smoky eye makeup paired with dark green lipstick complimented the girl’s face while her hair was styled in a bun. Karkat guessed his friend was wearing some sort of heels underneath, since she was practically towering over him.

Kanaya raised her eyebrows, her eyes filled with disbelief. “Karkat,” she began, letting out a sigh. “What in God’s name are you wearing?”

“Fuck off,” Karkat growled, crossing his arms.

Kanaya giggled. “Karkat, you cannot be serious about wearing that to the date. Are you? For goodness sake’s, there is a stain on your shirt.”

“I was planning to wear this, yes. Who cares about a stain?”

“Um, it is quite unsightly to have a stain on your shirt for such a formal occasion. And you aren’t even wearing your tie correctly.”

“So?”

“So, you will look like an embarrassment. And how can you impress your surprise date looking like that?”

“I don’t care about impressing anyone. Fuck, I don’t even want to do this.”

“Don’t be like that, Karkat. Would you like me to help tidy you up?”

“Not really, but I know Jade and Rose will be mad at me if I show looking like this. So, yes please.”

Kanaya smiled. “Let’s get started, then.”

Karkat muttered a few cusswords under his breath, moving out of the way of the door. “Come in,” he said, motioning behind him. 

Kanaya stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind her. “Alright. First, go get me some bleach and soap. Second, please find some formal pants. Jeans are not going to work. Thirdly, I will need a comb and hair gel. Your hair is an absolute mess. With a little bit of work, though, I think we can get you to look stunning.”

…

Twenty minutes later and Kanaya stood in front of her Karkat, a proud smile on her lips. “See, you look much better!” The female declared.

Karkat looked down, not sure how to feel about the transformation. Kanaya had gotten the stain out of his shirt, found him formal pants, and helped him put on his tie correctly. She also straightened his hair, which was what really made Karkat uncomfortable. The reflection staring back at him in the mirror wasn’t him- it was some weird alien version of him. “I don’t know if I would call this better,” Karkat said, grimacing.

Kanaya frowned. “Do you not like it?”

“It’s just, I don’t look like me.”

“I’m sorry, Karkat. I didn’t mean to-” 

Karkat could hear sadness creeping into Kanaya’s voice. “No, no,” he interrupted. “I said that wrong. I really really like it. Thank you for helping me out. I appreciate it.”

Kanaya let out a sigh of relief. “No problem, Karkat. I don’t mind at all. Would you like to head to the restaurant now? Jade will kill us if we’re late.”

“Yeah, we should probably go now,” Karkat replied, scratching his neck. He definitely didn’t want to get Jade on his bad side again.

“Let us go, then,” Kanaya said, a smile gracing her lips.


End file.
